Rant Post Alert!
Valentine’s Day just went by a few days ago and as expected, my social media feeds were flooded with mushy messages & photos of people celebrating the day with their loved ones. While I do wish my better half, of late we don’t really do anything else EXTRA to ‘celebrate’ the day. I may create something that I know he will like to use or maybe go out to a quiet dinner if we are up for it – but that is about it. However, I am not condemning any of the others who do celebrate it. Each couple should celebrate it as it suits them.
My jaded view of the day is towards those celebrations which are just for an Insta post or to compete with others or those who do it because everyone else is doing it. They go about obsessing over the V-day gifts, that the true essence of the day is completely lost on them. Let me give you a couple of real-life stories to support my jaded view.
Heer & Ranjha are a couple ‘very much in love’ in the eyes of all their friends and family. In reality, they are very good actors who put up this ‘hunky-dory’ relationship. They have no trust in each other and their relationship is filled with emotional abuse. Each of them is also having an affair. However, come Valentine’s Day they throw couple parties and proclaim their love with flowery messages to each other on social media.
Image Courtesy : Susan Lu4esm On Pixabay
Beth & Darcy are a couple who love to flaunt. Every year they buy each other expensive phones, diamonds or even a car. While these buys may sometimes be the need-of-the-hour, they make sure to time the big buys around V-day. Granted that this may serve a dual purpose and some may feel it is a smart move. However, since they are flaunters they post these gifts to their friends and family and itemize how they have been gifting expensive things because they love each other. They also never fail to ask others, what they gave or received as gifts! The key relationship here is not between two individuals but between the degree of love and expense of the gift.
Jane & Joe have been married for many years now. Jane thinks V-day celebrations are crucial to show each other and others that their love is young and still going strong. Because she is old school and thinks V-day is about the lady receiving gifts, this means she also expects Joe to ‘surprise’ her with some grand gesture to prove his love. Poor Joe is at his wit’s (and pocket’s) end EVERY YEAR because he fears not living up to Jane’s expectations.
In all these stories there is one common factor – the drama of love to create a false narrative, to tell others of their fabulousness as a couple, and to show others they are not loved if they don’t have these celebrations in their lives.
While these may not define many relationships, I see an alarming increase in this trend as each year goes by. Maybe it is the influence of Social Media, but there is now a need to ‘show-off’ love too.
If you don’t get roses on V-day, does it mean your husband/boyfriend doesn’t love you?
If you get a card or a shirt or a book instead of designer wear or diamonds, does it mean your partner doesn’t love you?
If you don’t post a picture of your celebrations and gift, does it mean the world thinks you have a problematic relationship?
If your post doesn’t get the validation of likes, comments, and shares, does it mean your relationship is doomed?
While Valentine’s Day is not an Indian concept, shouldn’t it be about the relationship between 2 people instead of just focusing on other people or gifts or celebrations?
What is so wrong with a low-key or no special celebration, anyway?
PS : Rant Post Spoiler Alert – Women’s Day Special coming soon 🙂
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
Very well said… and the commercial sales are all there to instigate the drama, hahaha!
You are so right, Vasumathi! These days any and every celebration is more aimed towards Social Media, than for the people celebrating it. I enjoyed reading your observations and agree with them .
You have echoed my thoughts about Valentine’s day. I cannot write such a post as it would sound like sour grapes. I don’t have a husband! Valentines day is just a marketing gimmick started by Archies and others and has now turned into a monster we cannot ignore.
This is so true of relationships and life these days- a lot of it is lived for social media. My boyfriend and I were both working on valentine’s day and to me the fact that we understood that and made time later, that is what true love is. Because one needs to be practical and understand love is more than just hearts and roses.
Know what, my husband isn’t a romantic at all and he told me early on that he doesn’t believe in these ‘days’. I made my peace with it. It’s important to celebrate your relationship. Genuinely happy and in-love people don’t need to flaunt!
I think very few feel the Love whiles remaining is simply social attention
That’s true, all the celebration and functions are more inclined towards social media. And if it’s not done we feel that we are missed out somewhere. Awareness of this is really essential. Good post
Nowadays the generation is more about flaunting than actually feeling the love. Love can be expressed at any time and any day of the year through small gestures such as just going out for an ice cream or watching a movie on the tv together or just being with each other. Valentine’s day has just become a big hyped commercial now.
You are absolutely right. These days, a lot is for show and social media. And it is not just limited to Valentine’s Day. A relationship is more than just gifts.
These days it is all about showing off. Well, I used to celebrate V day with my dad. I believe we can celebrate this day with our parents too.
I have read somewhere, people who are lonely look for these outside validations and are more on social media. I never believed in showing off. I think this is a social media pressure and nothing much. When you love someone you don’t need to tell the world.
Although I am a hopeless romantic, I have never ever celebrated valentine’s Day. Of late I go for a night out with my friends n family… making V day an excuse to get out 😀 . the pressure of social media is huge n although the concept of celebrating a day of love is cute(you know when u r busy in your own lives but celebrate a day together types)… what has become of it is total drama and obsession with giving and receiving gifts. To me it is just another day.
Oh Yes, this is so trueeee!
Suddenly life is all about what’s up on social media. Privacy of relationships is dying a slow death.
God tell me about its not only the valentines day, but also wedding anniversaries and kids birthdays im tired of watching. It sets an expectation on the future generation as well which I feel is a wrong trend that people are hoarding into
Exactly Vasumathi. Valentine’s day is meant to celebrate all kinds of love but it is limited to couples, particularly in India. Just like most things, it has become commercialized.
Having a relationship that makes you love and be loved all days. This I so true!!
Agree with this to a T. Not much a mushy flaunter myself, I believe in the subtlety and everlasting nature of love, not for others, but for one’s own self.
Whenever I see the post of people showing special love foe their loved ones and post all that stuff on social media, a question knocked what’s the need of it? And why to publicise the relationship? Your questions are genuine.
Totally you nailed it. It should.ve about the love and relationship than just gifts and show
The whole emotion of a celebration lies in it being low key – I agree with you wholeheartedly!
I agree with you here, seems like you have penned down my thoughts. We dont do huge celebrations just a quiet dinner that too at home, we prepare something special and gift each other some less hyped gifts like coffee mug, dark chocolate, single rose, book etc. no fancy party o diamonds for gifts. no pictures but we live those moments completely 🙂
Frankly, the first time I came to know about Valentine’s Day was from the movie, Dil to Pagal Hai. This occasion has turned out to be a golden opportunity for businesses now.
Totally agree. Some people just celebrate because others are and posting pictures on social media.
It is all a gimmick. And we embellish it out of proportion to the world